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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

what do you do with a BA in English?

Apparently you write dating profiles really well.

I've been told by a couple fellas that they wished they could write about themselves as well as I write about myself --- of course that doesn't necessarily mean they want to date me.

I offer up suggestions to them that it's all about just being honest and expressing what really inspires them and throwing in a little of their personality. I think someday I might write a book on this stuff, however I don't think anyone would read it unless I'm actually in a successful relationship.

It's important to me to converse for a while first before meeting so it's not so awkward upon first meeting and I feel like if it's too much effort for them to do that, then why waste the time?

Some men see it the opposite way, they want to meet in person right away and see each other and they think that is the best, instant way to know if "it's there." I disagree - but if we see that differently, then that probably tells me what I need to know anyway.

So I have these half-assed messages from men asking me if I want their friendship and I'm thinking, sure, where is it?? Prove you are worthy of my friendship by, like, I don't know interacting and trying to get to know me more. Share yourself.

I realize not all of them will be former English majors but I do expect a natural curiosity from any who are genuinely interested.

Since a good number of my friends have met their spouse on match.com, I also recreated my profile on there. Much to my disgust a 60 year old man winked at me today. I'm tempted to pay the subscription fee so I can tell him to date women his own age and how pervy he is and how creepy and yucky that makes me feel. A year older than my dad. Ewww.

I don't know if I really hold out much hope for the online thing. At the moment I'm highly cynical. Generally the men that message me are either looking to shag that night, are 300 pounds, currently married, etc, you get the picture. Can I say, I'm starting to feel that men are dogs? (and that's an insult to dogs who, as Wanda Sykes would say, are loyal). And the ones that aren't, well, they kinda look like them. Damn I'm shallow... but aren't there attractive men who also have integrity? Oh yeah, they're married.

There are a couple fellas that seem educated and interesting but aren't especially attractive but I would put them in the maybe category... because there are the cases when you get to know a person and the more you learn about them, the more attractive they become. (But unfortunately it goes the other way too).

There are times I'm not sure I should actually bother replying to some of these messages. Sometimes I have to wait a day or so before I reply to think of a tactful response. I have a tendency to come off a bit bitchy sometimes and I know I have a superior attitude. But I'm sorry if your first message to someone is simply "wow"... I reckon that's a compliment, yes but.... exactly what am I supposed to do with that? My words can be sharp like a sword at times and while the idea does appeal to me I don't think I need to randomly slash a bunch of strange guys willy nilly.

Luckily I'm occupied with frequent bellydance choreographing and practice, friends, writing, guilty pleasure reading and dvd viewing, and any and all other passions time allows for.

I'm still waiting for my big brother Mark to hook me up with a rugby player...

3 comments:

  1. You know, the roomy brought back some photos of Rugby players from her recent trip Down Under and they're not that hot. You can do better.

    My recent online experiences: Men can't spelland they'll make it sound like they are McDreamy until the very last line where they tell you they are unemployed, have kids, or are in a wheelchair (I kid you not). Also, why would you make a profile then post pictures that a)have other women with you, b)are far away, blurry, or wearing sunglasses, c)cut off your head?

    They must not be looking very hard if they think they can win a woman with these tactics.

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  2. OH! I've got a better one! A creepy half naked I'm sitting in front of my computer picture.... I literally read a profile that said "I don't know why I bother, there's probably no one good on here" - does that guy REALLY think he's going to have any success?

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  3. Well, with Rugby season wrapping up we'll have to wait until spring, and you have to not be busy on Saturday afternoons so we can hit some matches. That's where the lads are lil sis.

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