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Monday, March 2, 2009

Whedon scripture

after reading a very funny geek web comic:

I noticed all the fan comments beneath... enjoy!

"Our WHEDON who art in Hollywood, Hallowed by they words.
Thy shows they come, Thy disks they run On CD as well as Blu-Ray.
Give us this day our heroines and forgive us our fandom
as we are the fans of shows before thee.
And lead us not into teen angst and deliver us from mediocrity
For thine is the action, the drama and the story
Forever and ever. Gorram."

whedon commandments
1. You shall have no other gods before Whedon

2. You shall not make for yourself any carved image, cept those existing in thy Whedonverse. For I, the Lord your Whedon, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the FOX on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Buffy DVD box set.

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your Whedon in vain.

4. Remember the scifi Friday, to keep it holy. Four days you shall labor and do all your work, but the fifith day is the Serenity of the Lord your Whedon. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates for they should all be watching thy boob toob. For in 4 days the Whedon made the Buffy and the Angel, the Serenity, and the Firefly all that is in it, and showed them on the fifth day and the fanboys said it was good. Therefore the Whedon blessed the friday and hallowed it.

5. Honor your father and your mother with a dvd of Dr. Horrible, that your dvr days may be long upon the couch watching that which the Lord your Whedon is giving you.

6. You shall not cancel Whedon's programming.

7. You shall not commit adultery with other programming.

8. You shall not pirate the Firefly.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor for skipping work to go to a CON.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s home entertainment center; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife dressed like princess Leia, nor his dvr, nor his Firefly dvds, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s. Especially the farm animals cause what are you going to do with a donkey anyway?"

The WHEDON is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie'eth down on the sofa,
he leads me beside 2-liters of Dr.Pepper,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of post-modernness
for his canon's sake.

Yea, though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of FOX
I will fear no cancellation,
for you are with me;
his writing staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a season before me
in the presence of my spouse.
You anoint my mind with trivia;
my blog overflows.

Surely geekery and slash fiction will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the WHEDON
forever..after the Special Edition boxed set comes out.

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