Letting go and releasing

This is a good time for the release and letting go of unwanted emotions; worry, angst, self-consciousness and anything else that holds one back.  I don't know about you, but I want to be my genuine self, working daily to transcend darkness and find the path that's rewarding and purposeful.

Here is my list of the numerous worries I want released and to be free from.  They are all immensely difficult and thus why I am writing this, so I will reference and remember the things I feel hold me back in life.  I am not lecturing you... I am basically talking to myself.  :-) 

1.  Stop worrying about money.  Despite unemployment and all the hard times, you have always gotten by and been completely blessed by supportive family and unexpected financial blessings from others as well.  You will never starve or be out on the streets.  (Grateful)

2.  Let go of the bitterness, anger, frustration and shame of losing jobs.  You know that you are a hard worker, capable of doing anything you set your mind to and can be an asset and friendly, productive team member.  (And gosh darn it, people like me!  Holla if you remember that reference!)  Any ending can be a new beginning to something better.  Embrace the possibility of an amazing and unexpected new opportunity.

3.  Don't care what people think.  You know your daily battle - internal and external.  You know you wake up every day counting your blessings, doing the very best that you can.  You know your strengths and weaknesses and that you're strong even though you may appear weak to others.  We often put others down to feel better about ourselves and you never want to do that.  You can't control what anyone thinks.  They may judge you and they may never forgive you for past actions.  That is hurt they are holding onto and you are not responsible for that.  We all make mistakes... granted you have made many that lasted far too long... but you have also changed - and should be proud of yourself for that.  People either forgive you or they don't.  They either like you or they won't.  It's out of your control.  Just work every minute of every day to love, forgive and be kind... because we are all facing one battle or another - and no one is perfect.

4.  Stop expecting people to act a certain way.  Just as you can't control what people think, you also can't control what they do or say.  No matter what kind of responses (or lack of) you get, they may not have anything to do with you.  Reactions from others could be a reflection of their own bad day, their own struggles or insecurities.  Be confident knowing you're loved and always be more concerned about giving than receiving of love.

5.  Release lingering bitterness about failed relationships; business, friends and romantic.  You've learned from each and for some reason always have to learn the hard way.  Terrible heart break, betrayal, confusion, frustration, anger... those relationships are over.  Learn to trust again, just be wiser, stronger and more self-aware every day. 

6.  Stop punishing yourself for things you have worked hard to correct.  If you dwell on everything you've done wrong you will never climb out of the shame.  Give yourself credit for the ways you've changed and what you've survived (even if it doesn't seem like much to the outside world... you know).  Possibly these difficulties are teaching you to be more resilient and hopefully won't fall apart at any little thing that goes wrong.  Be proud of yourself for not giving up. 

7.  No more apologizing.  What's past is past.  The people who give up on you are just another example of things you cannot control.

8.  You are not psychic, so stop assuming you know what others are thinking.  These are your insecurities and these assumptions may or may not be correct - but you have no way of knowing.

9.  Let go of the need to be perfect.  That is an unattainable illusion.  Embrace all of yourself and let go of the fear of others seeing your flaws.  We all have flaws.  Some people deny them or are very good at hiding them... You thought you were good at hiding yours but everyone saw right through that.

10.  Don't beat yourself up if you don't remember all this crap.  These are lifelong ambitions and goals.  Things you know but keep forgetting.  Breathe, smile, love, forgive... and re-read this often.